Friday 9 July 2021

The Airhead Awards

7 comments:

Neil Welton said...

There have certainly been a lot of airheads on my television lately. And I'm not talking about Marcus Rashford and the followers of Jeremy Corbyn. Nor the Duke and Duchess of Sussex. Talking of which - the great British public were asked recently what they thought about the Royal couple, and the opinion poll advice was pretty clear and precise. Over 50% said "belt it and shut it". What a terrible thing to say to an opinion pollster. Especially to his face! Let's face it - when it comes to "speaking your truth" you will be hard pushed to beat the great British public. None of this PC, non-binary, multi-diverse, pan-sexualised, transgendered claptrap for them. That is why Churchill, Thatcher, Brexit, Farage and Boris have proved so popular. When are people going to learn? Especially Sky News and the BBC. I must admit this opinion poll advice to the Royal couple does sound a little bit harsh. But not as harsh as what I have seen written about them on social media. Something about being phonies and fakes and as a consequence - "You just cannot believe a single word they says," as Gordon Brown once said to me. And he wasn't talking about Tony Blair or Peter Mandelson before you ask. Anyway with all this attention on my websites I cynically thought it would be an excellent opportunity to exploit my very own brand power by launching the Neil Welton Airhead Of The Year Award. A chance for you to contact me and start nominating your candidates for this year's prize. For example, there might be a mega rich celebrity you've read about who lectures you about climate change - whilst jetting all around the world on a private jet. Burning more fossil fuel in a day than you will ever use in a year. Perhaps you've heard of a wannabe actress who waffles on about poverty whilst spending millions on her private parties. The sort of vain airhead who spends thousands upon thousands of pounds on shoes, handbags and jewellery, whilst not realising the money could have been spent feeding the five thousand in Africa - for the next fifty years. Or perhaps there is a Socialist actor you've learnt about who, after lecturing you about poverty, buys a £5 million town house and employs his servants on zero hour contracts. It then emerges he has launched his own fashion brand (usually involving a t-shirt costing £25 with the words Let's End Poverty emblazoned on the front) that has been made by some slave labour in China. Anyway, as I said, let's leave Marcus Rashford out of this. For I'm pleased to reveal he is nominated already.

Neil Welton said...

Whilst flicking between the television channels the other day I came across this quite shocking sight. Two new candidates for my airhead of the year prize. These two representatives or spokesman, one from the British Medical Association and the other from the Royal College of Nursing, were on television demanding a 12.5% pay rise for NHS staff. Yes. You heard that correctly. People who have clearly allowed the word hero to go to their head (and as a consequence have allowed it to lose its true meaning) demanding a 12.5% pay rise. What these representatives didn't mention was that the vast majority of NHS staff were awarded a 12.5% pay rise just two years ago. Alongside a massive investment in the NHS which far outstrips anything resembling the £350m which was once painted on the side of a big red bus. You know the big red bus which, during the Brexit Referendum Campaign, controversially drove around those Red Wall Constituencies proclaiming The Good News Of The Gospel According To Brexit. Much to the annoyance of Leftie Remainers who view the EU and the NHS as their own exclusive preserve. Put another way these medical trade unions are seeking the equivalent of a 25% pay rise within three years. Do you know anybody else who has received a 25% pay rise over the last three years? No. Me neither. Don't give me all this nonsense about nurses having to go to food banks either because this has been proven to be a lie. That's right. A lie. For my research into this often repeated "fact" has found that it actually relates to one student nurse who, after running out of cash at the end of her training course, went to a food bank. She was therefore not actually a fully qualified nurse and, as a consequence, was not being paid the salary of a nurse. (She was therefore not a nurse going to a food bank!) Never mind. Don't let the facts get in the way of a good BBC or Sky News headline. Even though the BBC and Sky News keep telling us they are only interested in the facts. As opposed to fake news! Anyway I realise my views on the NHS and NHS staff are going to make me as popular as Meghan Markle but they have to be aired. Before they can be manipulated by The Labour Party for party political advantage. Talking of Meghan Markle you will be interested to know that the very latest opinion poll has just dropped into my inbox. After interviewing thousands upon thousands of people across Britain (by telephone and by e-mail due to the pandemic lockdown) the poll gives the ultimate and definitive opinion of what we the British really think about Harry and Meghan. Do we support their decision to ditch Royal service and duty so they can spend more time with James Corden and Bette Midler? Do we back their plan to knife The Queen in the back so they can sit down instead with that queen of daytime television Oprah Winfrey? Let's take a look. For the question was simple. Do you all back Her Majesty The Queen and Buckingham Palace, or do you back Harry and Meghan in bungalow in California? (A bungalow? How fitting.) Just under 25% now support Harry and Meghan, and this compares to the over 75% who now support The Queen. Oh dear. Looks like the British public are beginning to view Meghan as a bit of an airhead. An American airhead at that. Well, who knew they existed?

Neil Welton said...

One of the main problems with nurses demanding a 12.5% pay rise is the impact it will have on wider society and the economy. Especially when it comes to inflation. For those of you with long enough memories will remember The Winter of Discontent from 1978 and 1979. What happened here in Britain then went something like this. First the nurses would demand a 12.5% pay rise and, just like today, threaten strike action if they didn't get it. The Government would cave in. Then the postmen seeing what the nurses are getting would demand a 12.5% pay rise too and, like most years recently, would threaten strike action if they didn't get it. Then the train drivers would demand a 12.5% pay rise and, unlike most years recently, threaten strike action if they didn't get it. They would then be followed by the bus drivers, truck drivers, bin men, power station workers, water works workers, food supply workers and, of course, gravediggers. All of whom remember have also worked tirelessly throughout this pandemic. Once these new pay deals were all agreed the nurses (by now joined by surgeons, teachers, social workers, gas plant workers and shop assistants) would then announce that due to inflation and the cost of living (caused by all these big pay increases), they would now be going on strike again for another 25% top up. This would then be followed by the postmen, train drivers, bus drivers, truck drivers, bin men, power station workers, water works workers, food supply workers and, of course, the gravediggers. All demanding the "affordable" 25% increase on top of the 12.5%. And so the vicious cycle or circle would start all over again. Therefore this poses just one very simple question. When is the trade union movement and The Labour Party going to realise that the British people threw out this left-wing garbage with the uncollected rubbish way back in 1979? For most of us were there (admittedly in very short trousers) and it didn't end well. It was something you are never ever going to forget. What with the lights switched off, shops unable to sell food, trains and buses not running, gas and water turned off, no fuel at petrol stations, no fire service, councils not burying the dead, rocketing inflation and trade-union bully-boy thugs demanding first 10% and then 25% pay rises. Indeed one of my earliest memories was of The Winter of Discontent back in 1978. A lovely afternoon at the pantomime simply overshadowed by yet another pantomime - that involved sitting in the dark for five hours without a hot meal on one of the coldest nights of the year. Under Leftie Labour you couldn't even have a hot meal by candlelight - until Margaret Thatcher had swept to power. Indeed is it any wonder that Margaret Thatcher and the Conservatives then had eighteen unbroken years in power. As old Jeremy Corbyn has rather belatedly discovered to his cost - who in their right mind is ever going to vote for a return to all of this?

Neil Welton said...

Neil Welton Airhead Of The Year Award

Will it be "that ghastly woke woman" Meghan?
Will it be "the indolent and indulged prat" Harry?
Will it be "the thick as planks" trade union leaders?

And The Winner Is...

Marcus Rashford (he ticked all the right diversity boxes)

Sadly Marcus can't be here with us this evening. He is currently in hiding after a recent European football tournament. I will therefore accept the award on his behalf and present to you the award citation in full.

Neil Welton said...

Why do people attack Marcus Rashford for being black? Let's face it. You don't need a PhD in Molecular Biology to notice that Rashford is not white. So why go after people because they are black, gay or disabled? It isn't clever or funny and only serves to garner even more public support for those being insulted. Indeed rather than attack Marcus Rashford because he is black, why don't people attack him for being a complete airhead instead? For a very quick search online will reveal that Marcus Rashford has recently been unveiled as "the new face of Burberry". A company which just a decade ago closed its factory in a deprived part of South Wales with the loss of thousands of jobs. Over night the children of these workers were thrown into destitution, deprivation and food bank hunger. Rather than smirking like a jerk in his Burberry trench coat, shouldn't Rashford be searching his conscience for some plain old common sense instead? Especially when it comes to backing companies with highly questionable employment practices and which throw children into food poverty.

Neil Welton said...

I'd hate to think Marcus Rashford was yet another airhead celebrity who is more interested in lucrative sponsorship deals and looking good on the telly - instead of carrying out some basic research into the companies he supports. But it is hard not to reach this conclusion after learning he is being sponsored by Burberry. The firm with its British factory closure programme and its seeming endorsement for Chinese labour standards. Admittedly Burberry has made some generous donations to the food bank charities which Rashford perversely "endorses". But who wants to visit a food bank, when you can have that well-paid job at a British clothing factory? This is especially so when we learn in recent years Burberry has been reporting worldwide profits of over one billion pounds. In any case why would anyone want to "endorse" food banks, or accept donations from companies that have helped to preside over an explosion in food bank poverty, welfare and benefit claims, and the disintegration of local communities with a dependency on free school meals. Unless of course you are a full-time professional welfare malingerer who is more than happy to live off the taxes paid by the working poor. After all it won't be Burberry paying their fair share of tax to help solve the social problems they cause. Indeed next they'll be telling us that women in South Wales are receiving sperm donations so they can become single mothers on benefits. Come to think of it, I just heard that on radio.

Neil Welton said...

Why are so many celebrities airheads? There are a few notable exceptions of course. Not naming any names. But one only has to look at Marcus Rashford grinning like a ninny in his Burberry trench coat to wonder whether he has a full set of marbles. Intellectual ones of course, as opposed to mental. Indeed you wouldn't mind so much if Burberry was a great company that paid its staff decent wages. That didn't make them dependent on welfare handouts, food bank parcels and free school meals. Perhaps we shouldn't be too surprised by Rashford's endorsement of Burberry. After all he clearly believes he became a successful football player because his mother was on welfare benefits. Nothing to do with his hard graft, determination to succeed, and wish to get on in life. Nothing to do with a desire to escape food bank poverty and the terrible social and economic circumstances he found himself in. This is despite the fact evidence from around the world suggests full-time work is the best route out of poverty. Not part-time work, getting yourself mortgaged up to the eyeballs in debt, or living beyond your means. Cutting the cloth to match your outgoings springs to mind. Nor does escaping poverty have anything to do with becoming a single mother on benefits. Of course the Left, in the guise of certain British media outlets and the Church, are rather keen on welfare. They'd like nothing more than to give you a tin of beans or a packet of soup whilst patting you gently on the head. Just as long as you don't seek a change in your social circumstances, demand some decent wages, or vote for Brexit. Or worse still come up from below stairs and air your "officially disapproved opinions" in the drawing room. How terribly beastly. Especially in the vicarage.